Dear Diary
by Tinni
Summary: A Bra and Goten get together fic.
1. Dear Diary: Part 1

Dear Diary: Part 1

The day of Bra's birthday

Dear diary,

Today is the happiest day of my life. I am finally eighteen. I have been waiting it seems forever to reach this milestone in my life. Well dairy I am glad that I have reached it. I am having this huge party here at Capsule corp. all my friends are going to be there. Of course Tolan will be by my side. I am so glad I finally have a steady boyfriend. Although I am not sure daddy is happy about it though.

He is always going on about how know weak human is good enough to have his little princess. Whatever else my dad does or becomes he will always be Vegeta the prince of all Saiyains. Well, I don't really mind. Well I wish he wouldn't watch Tolan and me like a hawk always but other than that I'm cool. After all he is like the best daddy in the world. Seesh will you listen to me. I am turning eighteen and I still talk like a twelve-year-old kid. A well, I better go and start getting ready. After all my party is only four hours away.

By the way in case you are wondering Goten is invited as is Trunks and my very soon to be sister-in-law Marron. But I don't think they will be there for more than an hour. Which suits me just fine. I am over whatever childish crash I had no Goten that made me fill most of you predecessors with nothing but my childish dreams about him. But unfortunately Tolan is very jealous and jumps too easily to conclusions. So if by some weird reason I have a momentary lapse of my old feeling Tolan is sure to pick something up and I don't want to be pressed on the subject of Goten by anyone, especially him.

Bye for now -Bra

* * *

The day after Bra's birthday

Dear Diary,

My party was a big hit. Everybody had a good time. Tolan didn't leave my side the whole night. It got almost annoying at one point but it was really sweet in another way. Anyway I didn't mind, too much. My dress was said to be just peerfect. Yep, I ended up going as a pussycat. I am so glad I choose to have a costume party. Tolan of course dressed as a tomcat. My dad thought that he looked stupider than usual but mom said that we both looked really, really nice. I really do love my mom. Anyway Trunks predictably came as Prince Charming and Marron dressed up as a fairy princess. She really is pretty I am glad she and Trunks and getting married. 

Pan and Uubu were also there, which is good. I hate to have my eighteenth birthday party without my two best friends. Nothing remarkable about their costumes, Pan just put on a battle suit and said that she was dressed up like a fighter. Uubu put on a cowboy hat and cowboy boots and spoke the whole night in a stupid accent. With their bad taste in cloths they deserve each other. But they are my friends so I really should not make fun of them.

Anyway, Goten didn't come till very late into the party. He brought me the most wonderful gift. It was heart shaped sapphire pendent. He said that he choose the stone because it matched my eyes. He is so sweet. But I haven't told you why I thought the gift so wonderful. He made it himself. He didn't tell me that himself of course but I found out from Pan later that he had spent hours working on. Getting it just right, just perfect and you know what? It is just absolutely perfect. The only bad thing about the whole thing was that it made Tolan really, really jealous. But Tolan should have learnt by now that I am in love with him and only him, so he really should not be jealous. Anyway, got to go.

Bye -Bra

* * *

A week after Bra's birthday

Dear diary,

This is really stupid. I can't tell you how much Tolan has been annoying me since my birthday. He is becoming really possessive and not possessive with in a good way like my father is with my mother. It's becoming really irritating. I am not even sure what is going on. He can't be doing this because of how Goten behaved towards me on my birthday. No that's just silly. I mean what did Goten do but kneel in front of me in front of everyone and offered his pendant by saying, 'To the most beautiful creature in the whole universe I present this sparkling fragment of stone that match her eyes. Please accept this token of loyalty from a most humble peasant to his princess.' It very sweet and it for a moment brought back all my former feeling for him but why should Tolan still hold resentment about it?

It had no meaning to him beyond a stunt pulled by someone who was almost like a brother to me. Most of the time anyway. I mean Tolan does not know that I am part Saiyain and in fact a Saiyain Princess. He doesn't even know what a Saiyain is. But that does not signify. I don't know what is going on. But if he keeps acting strange I will confront him and I don't care how bad an argument results from it.

Good bye for now -Bra

* * *

Close to three weeks after Bra's birthday

Dear Diary,

I am afraid the events I want to chronicle are already close to a week old. I just could not bring myself to write it before. Tolan had got steadily worse, so finally I asked him to explain himself. I could not believe he reason. Firstly he tried to avoid answering my question. But when I pushed him he turned around and demanded why I never did it with him. After all we had been together for almost a year and still I never even talked about it.

I was stunned. It never even crossed my mind. I mean I always thought that when I was ready, I would know and it would just happen. I guess it could be a naïve way of seeing things but still. I was about explain my views when he accused me of cheating on him with…Pan! I was so stunned for a whole minute I could not say a word. But fortunately he himself acknowledged that it was an absurd idea. But he said that he was sure that I did have somebody on the side and that till my birthday he did not know whom it was. But now he knew. It was Goten. He went on to say things I rather not remember.

I stopped him as soon as could and told him that it was absurd what he accused me of. I told him that after almost a year he should know me better. I told him I never wanted to see him again and walked away till I was out of his sight. I started crying and running.

Blinded my tears I didn't realise that I ran straight into Goten. Concerned he began to ask me what happened. I told him about breaking up with Tolan. He sat me tried to soothe me. He brought me home and for the last week he had been helping to cope with everything. He is such a good friend. Pity I have finally began to realise that in a way Tolan was right. In the last week with Goten's almost constant companionship I have began to realise that that youthful infatuation I had with him has long ago turned to love. Yes, I love Son Goten and now I have to decide if I want to risk our friendship to try and make him mine. Before it's too late. I can't write any more, he is here to see me. Goodbye -Bra

* * *


	2. Dear Diary: Part 2

Dear Diary: Part 2

One month after Bra's birthday

Dear diary,

I am too late. I finally got up the courage to tell Goten how I feel about him. I finally got up the courage to tell him that I love him. To tell him that I always have and always will. I finally got up the nerve to tell him that I never really loved anyone but him. I got ready to make him mine. I had no doubt that I he would be mine. After all look at what he gave me for my birthday. A heart shaped pendent. The heart is the symbol of love in most nations. I have seen people from far and wide use the heart to express love and that was what he gave me on my birthday. It that is not a sign that he feels the same way about me as I do about him I don't know what is. But I was wrong.

I was more wrong than any creature has ever been in history. I am more wrong than those people who thought the earth was flat. I am more wrong than those brains in Washington who thought the atomic bomb was a good idea. For they did not have the answer right in front of them. I did. How could I over look they fact that more often than not Goten talked about his girl friend Paris when he was with me? Well maybe because he never spoke about her for more than a minute, and they were usually things like 'Yes, that's what Paris told me too.' I never took much notice of it because usually at those times I would be talking about some really girly thing like the latest fashion or something. But that is not the point. I should have seen this coming. I should have known that Goten was in love with her and not me. For no sooner did I land on Goten's front yard that he came running demanding my congratulations. He had proposed to Paris, she had accepted.

I wanted to burst into tears. But instead I congratulated him and stayed there long enough to hear all about how happy he was. How much he loved her. He had no idea how much he was paining me with his words. He could have and I am determine he never will. I thank think any more -Bra

* * *

Two months after Bra's birthday

Dear Diary,

I wish I had a more happier reason for not writing in you. But I don't. Goten is getting married and in the course of the next two weeks. I have been so busy helping my brother and him prepare for the happy occasion that is to rob me of my one true love that I have had no time. My brother offered to hold the wedding here at capsule corp. at the same time as his. Which means I have to help them prepare for two weddings. As you can tell I have no time to do anything more than run around like mad with the two brides, trying to get them every bit of fantastic wish they have ever had for their wedding day.

The little time I have spare I mostly spend in crying my eyes out. I have spent a small fortune on eye drops. In between crying and playing wedding coordinator I sleep. I sleep to try and not dream about him. I sleep to revive my spirit so I may once again play the happy camper. I am happy for Marron and my brother. I love them both and nothing could rob me of the joy I would have had in helping them plan their wedding than having to plan Goten's to another woman at the same time.

I am afraid it might not be too long before they begin to suspect something, for I cannot bare to think listen to Marron talk about how happy and bright a future she has before her without thinking how sad and bleak a future I have before me. Everyday I think I am going to shout out to them my sorrow and grief. But no, I won't so weak as to ruin my brother and friends happiness with my sadness. I love Goten and I want him to be happy. If he can only be happy with Paris, I will not stand in his way. I love him and in love you must often make scarifies for the happiness of the one you love. O look I am getting your pages wet with my stupid tears. I guess I should stop writing now -Bra.

* * *

Few hours before Goten's wedding day

Dear Diary,

If ever there was a single grain of doubt in my mind as to how much Goten really loved Paris there could be none, now. I told him how I felt. I didn't do it willingly. He forced it out of me. All the decorations are up and I was doing my final inspection of them. I had chosen flesh flowers that were still in their growth soil, so even they could be put up tonight. The few wreaths were well water and made of young buds that would not reach their peak form till sunrise. Which was good because the wedding was supposed to be held a little after sunrise. Nobody is going to have time for anything tomorrow. Everybody is at Capsule Corp. except… I can't even think of her name without pain shooting through my heart. How I hate the Capital of France right now.

It was too much for me to take when I came face to face with the wreath that had her name joined with that of the only man for whom my heart beats. I broke down before it sobbing. It was than that Goten walked up to me and sat down next to me. He thought I was crying because of the wreath next to it, the one in which my brother and Marron's name was written with flowers that would not reach their full bloom till morning. He thought that I was crying because I was afraid that I would not longer have the same amount of affection from my brother. I could not help but laugh. Confused he asked me what was wrong. I tried to make up some excuse by he pressed. I tried to leave without telling him but he held me and demanded an explanation. So I gave him one. I told him the truth. I told him I loved him. I told him everything.

He stood there stunned. I stood there Dende knows why. Maybe the last ray of hope that was in my heart demanded that I waited for an answer. Finally he spoke, 'Something's were never meant to be.' He said softly. My heart broke, I knew it did because I could hear it breaking. I think I nodded my head, I don't know. All I know that I am now in my room and all hope has died for me. I know that many hours have passed since my conversation with him for the sky was than dark and it is almost light now. But my heart is not light. It is heavy with everything that is horrible. Even guilt, I feel guilty for ruining Goten's big day for him. I know he cannot enjoy it as much as he would have other wise now. They say that when hope dies you cannot live. They say that you cannot live when your heart is so heavy than you bare it no longer. I know I cannot live, not without him. Hope is dead and my heart is not the heaviest object on earth. It is clear what I must do.

The weddings are to be held in barely two hours by my watch. No one will have time for much else right now. No one will miss me till the weddings are well over. It's almost dawn now. What a perfect time to die. Good bye dear diary and thank you for listening to all my hopes and fears. If mom and dad were ever to read your pages tell them that I love them both and that this is not their fault. Please tell father not to kill Goten. It is not his fault I am not the girl his heart beats for. Tell Trunks and Marron to be happy. Tell Goten and Paris to be happy to. Good bye everyone, good bye -Bra

* * *


	3. Dear Diary: Part 3

Goten's Diary part 1

The day of Bra's birthday party

I did it I finally finished that pendent I was making Bra. It's in the shape of a heart. I would have finished sooner but I could never find the perfect gem. Every sapphire I picked up seemed to have something wrong with it. I hope she likes it. I am so glad I found that gemstone mine. I would never be able to buy her a sapphire of that quality. Feh, at the state of my wallet right now I would not be able to buy her any stone. Who could have imagined that there would be a undiscovered gemstone mine just behind my secret cave. I must be the luckiest guy in the world. Hey you know I am pretty good at this jewelry thing. Maybe I should become a jeweler. That's an idea…hummmm -Goten

* * *

The day Tolan dumped Bra

If I ever meet that bastard Tolan I will kill him. How dare he hurt Bra like that. I should hunt him down and kill him, slowly. Yet strangely enough I also want to send him a thank you note. What the hell am I saying he is a bastard who hurt my Bra. He deserves to die and rot in hell. Bra is so off-balance. I think I should keep her close company for the next few days. I mean it's not like she has anyone else who could help her throw this rough time. Trunks is so in love that he wouldn't notice if she came down to breakfast with puffy red eyes every morning. Marron and Pan are the same. Vegeta's way of comforting is by blowing Tolan to bits and although it might give her relief in the short run in the long run it is likely to make Bra miserable with guilt. Bulma has some new project and her children tend to become secondary to new projects. She is a good mother and all and she doesn't do it consciously but the point is she does. So looks like it's all up to old Son Goten to make his Princess feel all better -Goten

* * *

The day Goten proposed to Paris

I proposed to Paris, she accepted. Ran into Bra straight after. Told her I was the happiest person in the word. I smiled and talked endlessly about how happy the two of us are going to be. Everybody believed me, everybody agreed with me. But do I believe it myself? Do I agree with myself?-Goten

* * *

Few hours before Goten's wedding day

My head is spinning. I can't believe it. Bra is in love with me. The woman I have craving for…forever is in love with me, and I can't tell her I'm in love with her because in a few hours I am to marry another. A like Paris, she is a nice girl but I can never love her they way I love Bra. No I can never love anyone they way I love Bra. Paris doesn't deserve this. I need to tell her and truth. I need to break it of with her. She deserves someone who loves her with all his heart, mind and soul. Mine belongs to Bra and only Bra.

* * *

The day of Goten's wedding

Dende help me what have I done to deserve this. I went to Paris to explain. I didn't have to. She had just finished an email explaining her reasons for not being about to marry me. She just didn't have to press the send button. I read it there and to tell you the truth I was happy. I was happy that everything was going so well. So I told her I understood. We said we would always be friends and I left. I headed for Capsule corp. to tell Bra that when I said that something's were never meant to be I didn't mean us. I mean, I did sort of at the time but not now. But no sooner did I take to the air that a terrible, terrible pain tore through my heart. I knew, and I knew that something was very, very wrong. I didn't know what till I got to Capsule corp.

She killed herself. She killed herself over me. Impatient, impatient Bra, why did you have to be so weak? But than the creator only knows how much she had been feeling all these months running around preparing for a wedding that was to separate us forever. But the real fault here lies with me. I have been attacked to her for Kami knows how long but I have kept in. Afraid of being rejected, afraid of losing Paris over someone I could not have. Vegeta is right I am no good for her. I should have let him kill me.

He wanted to kill me when I got to Capsule corp. and flew up to her room. She was lying on the bed wearing the heart pendant that I gave her. She had worn it all the time since I gave it to her. She was surrounded by her parents, her friends, her family. My heart sank to my boots when I beheld her lying there still like a corpse. But alas she was a corpse. I stepped inside and reach out to touch her but Vegeta pulled her away from my touch. "Don't touch her." He ordered, "You did this. You killed her. You were never any good for her. I ought to kill you." So saying he powered up.

But Trunks placed himself strategically between us. "Daddy calm down. Killing him won't achieve anything. Let's get the Dragonball radar and than we can get the Dragonballs and wish her back."

Vegeta did calm down but he looked at me with those awful cold eyes and said softly, "Don't ever come near my family again." So saying he left the room.

What happened next I would not have suspected in a million years. Trunks turned to me and said coldly, "You better do as he says. Next time I won't stand between the two of you."

"But I want to help." I said.

"You'll help by staying away." He said and pointed to the window.

I had no choice but to leave. This was suppose to be the best day of my life. It would have been to had I been brave enough to do what my heart wanted to. Than Bra and I would have been married to day. She would still be alive and my best friend, my bonded ally would no have looked at me as if I was his worst enemy.

But I know what I have to do. They might not want my help but I will help them. I know Bulma gave my father a spare dragon radar for emergencies. I'll get that and start collecting Dragonballs as well. Perhaps between Trunks and Vegeta and me we should have them collected very, very soon. Than we can bring Bra back. I might never be able to go any where near her again but perhaps for my help Vegeta will allow me see her from a far. -Goten

* * *


	4. Dear Diary: Part 4

Goten's Diary part 2

The day after Bra killed herself

I have gathered three of the Dragonballs and left them at Capsule Corp. Vegeta and Trunks were just behind me so I couldn't stay long. Not that Bulma would have let me. She turned a blind eye to me coming in and leaving the Dragonballs but I don't think she would have let me see her. Not that I could bare to see her. I can't believe how much I love her. I lost her and now I am beginning to realise the depth of my feelings for her. How could I have been so blind? How could I think that I loved Paris? I mean she is a nice girl. She wasn't obsessed with me like some of the girls Trunks used to date. She wasn't a flirt. She could be innocent to the point of silliness sometimes but I liked her. But that was all there ever was like not love. Why didn't I see that before?

The sky has blacked over. The eternal dragon has been summoned. I know Bra will be back in this plain soon. I hope in time Vegeta and Trunks' anger will die down enough to let me see her. Till than I'll stay here in my little gem cave on my little tropical island. Bra I wish I could find a way to tell you that I love you now and forever. -Goten

* * *

A day after Bra killed herself

Trunks came by today. He didn't speak to me much, just dropped a pile of food in front of me. Told me to eat for I was transmitting my hunger to him and it was bordering on annoyance. Heh, the curse of bonding, you feel what the person you are bonded to feels. Which is probably why after a moment he told me that Bra had not been too happy about being wished back. In fact she had been very angry and they had to tell her about me and Paris going our own way and how I came to her the day she died. He told me these in the least amount of words possible. I have been friends with Trunks forever and I have never known him to talk so little.

He abruptly reminded me of what my brother described Mirai Trunks to be like. Over the years Trunks had began to dress more and more like what my brother described Mirai Trunks to dress like. He had even picked up that brooding persona Mirai Trunks and Vegeta are famous for. I don't know why but I think he is glad his marriage to Marron was unexpectedly put off indefinitely. I have a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach that I am not going to be the only one with an ex-girlfriend whom I almost married soon.

I think Trunks sensed that I was picking up more from him about him than he cared to reveal. For he soon stalked out telling me sternly to stay away from capsule corp. Bra was under strict guard of Vegeta and he was not letting anyone save Bulma near her. Even he was forbidden from seeing her till Vegeta was satisfied that Bra was not going to be a weakling again. It was at the same news I wanted to hear and not hear.

I was glad she was being kept from doing something stupid again. But I could not help but think that if she was not under constant guard I would be able to see her, to talk to her, to touch her. Funny I would have been surprised to think things like that just a couple of months ago but now, now they are as natural as breathing. But than in reality so many things have been instinctive to me when it comes to Bra that I didn't even realise that some of the things I felt for her was beyond the realm of little sisterly affection that I always told myself I felt for her.

No, she is far more to me than my best friends little sister who I also love as a sister. She is the woman of my dream. The one for whom my heart beats, the one for whom my soul aches, the one for whom my mind cries, the one for whom my body desires. Hmph, how is it that grief always seems to expose reservoir of poetic talent within people. - Goten

* * *

A week after Bra killed herself

I have never known how slow time can be. I have never known how much spirit can be lost in so short a time. I have been keeping myself busy by carving out statues from the rocks and gems in the cave. They all turn out to be the likeness of Bra. So instead of distracting me from her only end up making me long even more to be with her.

Trunks has been visiting me everyday. He wouldn't say much. Sometimes he would come with food and stuff and just sit there watching me eat. I ate very little. I think my mother would have had a heart attack to see how little I ate. I know Trunks looked distress every time I left almost half of my food untouched. I never realised I much I needed to hear his voice till he just stopped talking to me. I so wanted to tell him everything I was feeling. I so wanted to ask him if he was alright and I knew from the look on his face that he wanted to tell me things and hear things from me too.

But, alas! When we did speak it was about the food, or the weather. Sometimes I just wanted to grab his collar and scream for him to say something. But I knew that that would only drive him further away. I have lost enough already. Once or twice I wanted to ask him why my brother or father were not looking for me. But than it occurred to me that my father and brother both would be at a loss to know what they could do to help me so they just relied on the one person who was always the one who helped me through everything. Except in this case Trunks was not very inclined to even talk to me about my problem let alone help me through it. Maybe he was and just didn't know how to bring it up. Maybe I'll bring it up, tomorrow when he comes to see me. -Goten

* * *

The next day

Trunks didn't come. Bra came in his place. I was shocked to my core when she walked in. I though I was having a waking dream brought on by something I ate. My mother was known to use exotic spices in her cooking sometimes. But she was real. But what followed could have easily been mistaken for a dream.

The first thing out of her mouth when she entered was, 'Goten are you in love with me?' I could tell from the surprised look on her face that she was not expecting to just blurt it out.

But I was glad she did. There was no point in dancing around it, 'Yes, are you?'

'I told you I was, didn't I.' She pointed out, 'I have always loved you and I always will.'

If ever in the entire history of the universe someone was truly happy. I was when she told me that. I swept her up in my arms and kissed her soft lips ardently. I don't have the skill or the inclination to describe what happened next. Let's just say that Vegeta is going to kill me if he ever found out. But it seems that it was Vegeta who told her to "go get that moron". Apparently after a weeks worth of observation he decided that she was in love with me beyond cure and so had little choice but to let her see me and see if I truly did feel the same way as her. But that doesn't mean, Bra was quick to point out, that Vegeta was not going to have very long painful sparring session with me as soon as the two of us returned. But if the end result is that I will be allowed to make my princess my queen I will gladly bear all punishment dished out to me by Vegeta, Trunks and any other Z-warrior who so feels inclined. I love her and she loves me and that is the only thing that matters to me. -Goten

P.S. I was right about Trunks. The damn fool broke up with Marron. I think he is planning on becoming a hermit or someone up there who is writing our fate has something against him.


End file.
